Cookie Policy (Or Whatever This Is)

We use cookies. Not the delicious chocolate chip kind. The invisible, digital, slightly stressful kind. 

By breathing near your screen, you agree to everything below.

What Are Cookies?

Cookies are tiny text files. They live in your computer. They watch you. 

They know you bought those llama-shaped slippers at 3:00 AM.

How We Use Them

• Essential Cookies: These keep our website from melting into a puddle of code.
• Existential Cookies: These question why you are browsing the internet instead of calling your mother.
• Haunted Cookies: These make your cursor drift slightly to the left when you are tired.
• Crumbly Cookies: These do nothing but leave digital debris in your hard drive.

Your Choices

You can disable cookies in your browser settings. However, doing so will cause our website to speak exclusively in 14th-century Latin. It may also change your desktop background to a picture of a confused goat.

Third-Party Tracking

We share your data with an ancient wizard named Greg. Greg lives in a cloud. He uses your browsing history to predict the weather in Nebraska.