Contact
Contact the Ministry of Echoes & Loose Ends
We probably received your message before you even sent it.
If you need to reach us, please choose one of our highly inconvenient communication portals below.
1. Interdimensional Correspondence
- Carrier Pigeon: Only accepted if the pigeon is wearing a tiny, bespoke top hat.
- Telepathy: Think about your question very hard while staring at a turnip.
- Smoke Signals: Standard blanket waving only. Do not use damp leaves.
- Message in a Bottle: Toss into the nearest body of water. We check our puddle weekly.
2. Telephonic Contradictions
Our phone lines are open yesterday between the hours of11:62 AM and4:00 AM.
- Main Line: 1-800-BLA-BLAH (Extension: Purple)
- Fax Machine: Feed your document directly into a shredder. It is the same connection.
- Emergency Bat-Signal: Only available during solar eclipses.
3. Physical Dimensions
If you wish to visit us in person, we are located where the sidewalk ends and your anxiety begins.
- Address: 404 Room Not Found, The Third Cloud on the Left, Outer Space.
- Drop-off Box: Located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Please knock loudly.
4. Quantum Contact Form
Please fill out this form using invisible ink only.
- Name: (Or your preferred alias given to you by a stray cat)
- Email: (Must end in .banana or .ghost)
- Your Quest: (Keep it under three riddles)
- Blood Type: (For coffee preference profiling)
Fortunately we had hindsight disable the Quantum Contact Form service. If you leave a token deposit in our pigeon in-box, we might ask Mr Hindsight to turn it back on.
Click to Talk to Me
