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Robert Dyas
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Coping with a breakup! 

Which ever way you approach this please do not google the word 'coping'...

If you do the result will typically be - the top, typically curved or sloping, course of a brick or stone wall.

Completely unhelpful results as usual, of course every situation is going to be different, there may be children involved, money worries, the list goes on and on. 

No one wants to be in a situation where a relationship (or affair) is ending, even the person instigating the break-up doesn't really want it, but there are times when it has to happen for the greater good of everyone involved either directly or not.

Sometimes hard decisions need to be made in any relationship, making these on your own can be really stressful, talking about issues is always the best course of action, however there are occasions when people make snap judgement calls based on the situation at the time, on what ever feelings are hanging around, this is not a bad as thing we are only human and we do what ever needs to be done for self preservation purposes. 

So for a moment lets set aside the reasons why people breakup and the background surrounding breakups and just concentrate on how to cope with the situation. This might not apply to every one and it might seem rather odd to others but give it a shot it actually might make a difference to coping or falling apart.

Here are seven simple, strategies for coping with a breakup:

1. Write Or Talk About It

2. Take Back Control and Take Care Of Your Body

3. Get Active (But Don't Over-Exercise)

4. Remind Yourself Of All The Great Things In Your Life

5. Get Focused and Do Things YOU Love

6. Try An 'Obsession Diet'

7. Give Back, join a club or take up charity work

Okay that sounds all well and good but that was just another google search I did and I am still not feeling it! Here is what I did and what I didn't do, yes you heard me, things I didn't do!!! There are things you shouldn't do in any breakup, well in my humble opinion!

1. Keep yourself occupied.

This is the hardest thing to do as most of your daily routine would have at some point involved the other half. So pick stuff that they were never involved in, that way it will keep you focused.

2. Make sure you eat and drink!

The most important thing to do is eat, your stomach will be feeling so small and cramped that you will not want to eat anything, even that special something siting in the fridge just seems too much to eat right now but you must eat, even if its just half of it. Remember to also keep yourself hydrated and stay off the alcohol. If the devils drink must pass your lips have a small one each night to take the edge but remember not to over do it, you will just get more withdrawn and depressed and probably do something you might regret, like eat a large cake or bowl of fruit!

3. Do not get drawn into a texting war.

Avoid endless meaningless angry texting conversations, if you feel you need to reply keep it short and sweet and DO NOT answer questions! Keep your cool and if they keep going over stuff just stop and walk away, turn off the mobile. It doesn't matter how much you love your other half having a texting war doesn't make it any better with a breakup. You will have lots of unanswered questions going round your head and not to mention the conversations and signals you missed along the way. You will never get to the bottom of the reasons why so DO NOT bother asking WHY!

4. Can we still be friends?

If you have followed steps 1. 2. and 3. then by now they will be wondering if you still love them, even though they were the ones that instigated the breakup, they will be dropping hints about what they miss about you. Then will come the question can we still be friends? The classic line, actually by now you should be completely over them and have the bottle to say NO! Staying friends is the worst thing you could ever do especially if there are unanswered questions and missing links, you wont cope, (theres that word again). If however if you ended on a purely mutual basis sure staying friends could turn out to be the best possible way forward, but beware in any breakup they will need you before you will need them!

5. Move on.

This by far is the hardest part of the break up because every smell, object, song and anything that was them and part of your life is now over! Accept the change with open arms and move on! Get out and meet new people, join a club or take up an outdoor pursuit, doing charity work is also another great way to make new friends and get back into the social circle, or simply take up a new hobby. Most importantly just live life!

If you are still finding coping at this last stage hard you may need to think about seeing a counsellor!

terrywebbs ADMIN

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terrywebbs May 31 '17, 09:44PM · Tags: dating, free, friends, fun, terry webbs, silly, join
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